How Ecstatic Dance Is Helping Me Become More Free
In these “How ____…” articles, I hope to demonstrate the power of perspective and purpose, as seen in my own life. To show how living intentionally can heal and expand us. To illustrate that even the seemingly insignificant moments, even the most painful ones, can have tremendous impact on our lives if we look for and create meaning in them.
Ecstatic Dance is a structured yet free form community dance experience - the structure asking us to commit to leaving the intoxicants at home, dance sober, dress comfortably and as we please, and practice non-judgment, of ourselves and others. The space thus allows you to be exactly who you are, to feel and express your body in any way that feels good and right to you, as long as it does not infringe on the safety of others in the group.
Together, with as little or as much interaction with others as you chose, we move freely to eclectic sounds from around the world. You can wile out to your own tune smack dab in the middle of the group, chill and stretch off to the side, lay down, whatever. Your experience is totally up to you - and fully accepted by the group!
In the same set, you might hear samba and tribal bass music, pan flutes and wobbles, fast paced and super slow sounds. The experience is always a musical journey meant to evoke a full spectrum of human emotion and expression. And because the container created is a safe one, people are free to GET THE F DOWN in ways we often feel less comfortable doing in other spaces in our society. It’s a liberating experience, safely removing many inhibitions that keep us locked up in our own stagnant emotional worlds - allowing us to express ourselves and promote more inner freedom. Ecstatic dance has helped me become a better man, and a better human.
Before coming into ecstatic dance, I’ll say that I’ve grown so much in the electronic music and dance community. When I go to shows or festivals, the connection felt via this conduit of music and dance is so fulfilling. Music brings people together. We can all agree on a groovy beat, a “sick” drop, or a beautiful voice. In those moments, dancing together, we put down our differences to celebrate the beauty of musical creation. Kindness and care prevails in most of these spaces. It’s taught me so much about love, gratitude, and community.
But these spaces also include a lot of intoxicants and overstimulation. The intoxicated, overwhelmed mind is most vulnerable to the learned insecurity of our social worlds: judgement, the fear of it, and the constriction we feel when we are trying to “fit in”. I know that often I feel this riding discomfort in the background when I’m in these big crowds, especially if I’m under the influence. Its hard to stay grounded, present, calm. The mind will tend to take off in the directions it knows best. Insecurity is cleared for takeoff.
This discomfort I feel comes from the wounds of my ego - it’s my inner child trying to protect me, the boy in me who struggled to feel good about himself and has carried said fear on into adulthood. Because I carry a lot of self-image wounding, discomfort in and with my body, these spaces illuminate that feeling of anxiety, and though its mostly in my own head, I know I’m not the only person who feels some amount of discomfort with themselves that’s brought out more so in public spaces. This is exacerbated by the tendency to live mot of our lives in our heads, instead of in our bodies. When we are living in our bodies, the insecurities of the mind cannot dominate. We can be free to live in the moment.
Thats why ecstatic dance has been such a magical training in dropping out of my mind and into my body and the music. The space is designed without the intoxicants and extra distractions, so you can really see that extra mental baggage clearly and practice letting it drop away. Because we tend to spend A LOT of time in our heads - intellectualizing, rationalizing, analyzing. Certainly these attributes are all important resources of the human design, but left unchecked are also the sources of anxiety that wreck havoc on our lives. Dropping into the body softens our overwhelming thinking mind and cultivates presence, ease and openness.
Because for me, I’v been battling with chronic pain for years now. It hurts to be in my body, so often I’m in avoidance of it. It’s easier to be in my head. So, when I rock up to ecstatic dance, that’s where I start off. Worried about how I look, questioning if my body can even do this, unsure if I “fit in”. As the music starts to move, I warm up into my body. At first, its creeky, like my joints haven’t been oiled in a decade. There is resistance, anxiety over how I look, comparison. My head dominates. But as the music starts to pick up - ecstatic dance is rhythmic, variable and emotional, starting with a slower pace, building and crescendoing with energetic peaks, and then ending back in a grounding, calming place - I can feel my mind starting to let go.
My joints start to open up, my mind starts to calm. I’m less worried about what other people think about me, about how I look, about what other people are doing, and starting to appreciate how good it feels to move my body so freely. I’m expressing the energy generated from the connection with the music, and doing it with less and less constriction in each moment. Before you know it, I feel energized, my mind is much quieter, I’m flowing. I’ve caught the wave and am now living more fully in my body. I feel free. I feel confident. I feel in love with this moment, this music and the people around me. I feel powerful. I feel capable, yet calm and grateful.
This is the power of music and dance to help us break free. And ecstatic dance creates a special space where we remove the intoxicants and dress codes of the typical night life scene. You are free to be yourself, in a clear state, and able to trust that those around you are just here for the same, that they aren’t here to size you up based on your outfit or your demeanor. You can just be you. And without alcohol or drugs, we have to face the foundational pieces of what keeps us locked up in our minds. We have a clear space to get clearer. As as we learn to judge ourselves less, we judge others less, as well. The world within and around us becomes brighter.
When I walk away from ecstatic dance, I feel full. I feel my best self. Energized. Full of hope. The tendency of my mind to fixate on my pain, which by the way almost disappears when I truly drop in to free dance mode, and to focus on insecurity, vanishes. Its with this feeling of awareness, centered in my body, that I’m becoming a more loving, powerful human. The presence and attunement with life gives us the freedom to be authentic, loving and make choices confidently, less inhibited by the mind’s limiting beliefs built off of childhood wounding. This is how I want to show up in the world.
And this practice has spilt out into other parts of my life. Its become a part of who I am. I notice myself much freer to be myself, to bust out my dance moves, however fucking silly or stupid or awesome (they are truly a combination of all three) they are, even in a social setting. I can drop more easily into my body and let go of some of the limitations of my mind.
The more I dance, the stronger I feel with who I am. And the more the wounded boy in my mind can take a back seat as the loving man begins to live more and more through my body.
The wider message here is that, as a society living far too much in our heads, we need to find and create spaces for ourselves that help us drop into our bodies. That help us let go of the mental fixation on what we have to do or who we are expected to be. Spaces that allow us to drop more into our physical worlds. Ecstatic dance is just one example illustrating how artistic expression and movement are so so essential to our existence and flourishing. Swimming, painting, walking, playing an instrument, hiking, skateboarding, dancing, etc. Whatever it is for you, where you can be free to live in your body, in the moment, without judgement - find it and make it a consistent part of your life. In it, you’ll find deeper freedom, peace and joy.